It's time for the big dance

Hey guys. Now it's time to tackle one of the biggest obstacles guys and girls face about dating in high school or middle school - the date for the dance. Sorry guys, but the job of asking is usually on your shoulders. Sometimes you get that brave girl who will ask you or the mutual friend hook-up, but usually its all on you. Don't let this scare you, however. It's not nearly as hard as you may think.

Step 1: Find the girl.

Scout out the girl you want to go with. If there isn't anyone specific on your mind, look for girls in your classes that you seem to get along with well and who you think you could have fun with at a dance. That is the key. Having fun is way more important than scoring that goodnight kiss or having an awkward first dance together. Try to get in the loop so you know who already has dates and who the other guys are asking. If you know who's already taken, you reduce your rejection possibilities and if you take into account who others plan on asking, it lowers your chance of having an conflict with the other guys.

Step 2: Will you go with me?

Once you know who you want to ask, go for it! The worse she can do is say no, and don't worry boys, you will bounce back from that. There are many ways to go about asking the girl. Unless you already have something going with that girl, I would suggest doing it casually though so it can come off just like friends. Find her at her locker in between classes, catch her as she walks out after school, or even over instant messenger if the thought of face-to-face contact scares you. However you do it, put yourself out there and don't get down if the girl says no. There are plenty of others.

Step 3: Do I pick you up?

So you've got the date. Yes! Now you just have to plan things between then and the dance. Most girls like to know what's going on in advance, especially if it's a formal dance that involves fancy hair-dos, etc. So make sure you let her know when you will be picking her up about a week ahead of time and definitely find out if she wants you to match. That'll take a little more preparation. Suggest her coming with when you go shopping or at least helping you pick out what you're wearing. It is way easier that way, and she'll love that her input matters so much. Also, find out what your mutual friends are doing before/after the dance. It is much less awkward if you go out with a group of people, much more than eight is complicated however. Talk to her about who's going and who you both would like to go out with so it can be a joint decision. Driving with another couple definitely cuts down on the awkward time, too.

Step 4: May I have this dance?

So you're at the dance. Most important thing, grinding is NOT the only kind of dancing. You can have plenty of fun dancing without rubbing up against each other, especially if you are going just as friends. Don't be afraid to be silly. Bust out the sprinkler or the "Knocked Up" dice roll and you are sure to get a smile, if not a a laugh, out of your date. Sing along to the songs, even if you don't know all the words. It'll be funny if you mess up and you and your date can make fun of each other together. Most of all, have fun! And if this dance doesn't go as well as you wanted, don't worry it will all be over when the chaperones turn on the lights.

Everyone's big sis,
Chelsea